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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29821752">Tic Attack</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/whereyoustand/pseuds/whereyoustand'>whereyoustand</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Ultimate Sidemen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Neurological Disorders, Tourette's Syndrome, tic attack</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 20:01:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>969</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29821752</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/whereyoustand/pseuds/whereyoustand</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ethan has Tourette's Syndrome and has a tic attack.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ethan Payne &amp; The Ultimate Sidemen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Tic Attack</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Warnings for tics and mentions of any physical and verbal tics so please read at your own risks</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ethan truly did not hate a part of himself. He used to, back when he was overweight and in his lowest mental state. But he stopped seeing his weight as an issue when he lost it, when he exercised more. It took him a lot longer to stop being upset about his tourettes but he grew to accept them. He used to cry and scream and curse at the top of his lungs blaming his mum for making him this way. He believed he was the reason his two fathers left. He remembered sitting down with his mum at the age of twenty one and whispering, “It was never your fault.” And she had cried and apologised that she couldn’t afford him better help but he just hugged her and they comforted each other.</p><p>Ethan had been scared to tell his new internet friends about his tics. He would mute his mic whenever he felt a verbal tic and if he couldn’t mute it in time, he just came up with whatever excuse came first. He didn’t use a face cam because of his physical tics and then when he did, he cut it out and tried to repress it as much as possible. </p><p>Telling the Sidemen was hard but after he told them and they asked questions, trying to understand how things worked for Ethan. He then became more comfortable for himself and told his viewers about his tourettes syndrome. They joked about it in a way that Ethan felt comfortable with but he also had to stop streaming because they’d spam it in the chat. It was hard finding the balance but he was trying his hardest.</p><p>All the guys were sharing a hotel room when he was having one of his worst tic days. He had already got a cut on his cheek where he had hit himself a bit too hard and caught his ring. He woke up and could already tell that today was not going to make him feel good. He was walking to the main living area of their combined hotel room and he was already whistling and flapping his hands. He heard the other guys chatting happily as he suddenly tugged on his hair, let out a small clicking noise. </p><p>“Ethan, you alright fella?” Josh asked, wincing as Ethan hit his forehead again.</p><p>“I’m - chugga - I’m -” He let out a whistle. “Fine. I’m fine.”</p><p>The others realised that this was a bad day as Ethan let out a shout as he filled up a glass of water. He felt the tics building up in his body as he dropped the glass, suddenly going into a more severe tic attack, letting out yells and repeating the word ‘chug’, whilst slamming his hand on the side. The others jumped in to help, trying to move the smashed glass away from Ethan so he didn’t hurt himself. He let out a yell as his hand smacked his previous cut. He felt tears leak from his eyes, as his throat closed up. He felt breathless as the words continued to escape his mouth. He thanked that his tics allowed Josh and JJ to guide him to the sofa to lay him down. He continued making noises as his throat went raw. He sucked in a deep breath as his arms continued thrashing. He threw his arm out shortly followed by his legs kicking out. He smacked his head another few times.</p><p>The guys cleaned up as JJ and Josh stayed with him as his tic attack continued. Once they cleaned up, they left the room, giving the three of them privacy so Ethan didn’t feel as panicked. Ethan continued to tic for another thirty minutes before he slowly started calming down. His head ached from the amount of head jerking and there were two new bruises forming on his head from how he had smacked and punched himself. His throat felt dry and he was breathless from the vocal tics that had forced themselves out. He let out some tears as his tics slowed back to the average pace. Josh and JJ smiled sadly at him before offering some food and a bottle of water. They passed him his squishy ball to help the hand tics and a neck pillow as he continued to jerk his head and let out soft whines and noises.</p><p>“‘M sorry.” Ethan whispered after ten minutes.</p><p>“It’s okay, you’re okay.” Josh said.</p><p>“Bro, it’s alright.” JJ commented. “Did you not realise the attack would happen?”</p><p>“I knew - chugga - I knew it would be bad but not this bad.” Ethan explained.</p><p>“Wanna see the other guys?” Josh asked and Ethan nodded, letting out a low whistle. A moment passed and the other guys were walking in, smiles on their faces with plans of distraction in line for Ethan.</p><p>“Someone looks like they could use a hug!” Harry opened his arms and laid beside his mate, who immediately engulfed him.</p><p>“We managed to figure out how to connect our Netflix to the TVs so we’re thinking about a movie.” Simon said.</p><p>“It really wasn’t hard but with those three, it was ten times more difficult to sort out.” Vik rolled his eyes as Simon let out an annoyed scoff. Tobi just sat beside him and let out a sigh.</p><p>“This is what I had to deal with.” He commented and immediately it started a quiet debate between the group as Ethan settled into the cuddle and tried to get comfortable despite his tics. </p><p>His tics were noises and aggressive movements. His tics were excessive blinks. His tourettes syndrome was a lot of tears and pain but it was also laughs and smiles with his best friends. Ethan had learnt through trials and tribulations that he was not defined by his tourette's syndrome.</p>
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